Love

 

Different stages of Love:

1^st stage:

This happens with the mother for almost everyone. This is mainly the most natural love which happens in complete innocence. This love is pure as there is no Ego. The child does not feel any separation. It just identifies itself as the one with his/her mother. The bond (cord) still exists mentally although the cord is cut physically. This love is natural and happens by itself and everyone goes through this stage inevitably. This love’s purpose is to ensure survival of the individual.

2^nd stage:

This happens during childhood. When the child grows and knows (assumes) that he/she as a separate entity from all others she starts seeing others as others only and when she finds someone of the same age group (or different rarely) helping and or entertaining, she feels to be with him/her for most of the time and starts missing if there is a separation. This is also little pure but immature as the child just needed a companion without any much expectations as an adult do including bodily expectations.

3^rd stage:

This happens during adolescent stage. The adolescents feel attracted to the opposite gender (in most cases) and this would be mainly based on the body requirements due to hormonal changes happening in this stage. This love is not pure but little matured compared to the earlier stages as there is a clear cut ego or “I” feeling and the person loved is seen as completely separated yet love happens because of the hormonal changes and bodily attraction. The individual misses the lovable person when he/she is not with him/her. There will be a possessiveness in this love. All kind of emotions along with love will be maturing at this stage.

4^th stage:

This happens after adolescent age. This love is also not pure as there is an “I” feeling here again. This also will have the bodily requirement component but not as much seen in the previous stage. This will be more dependent on emotion level or thought level and also on body level. When the individual feels at ease at home with a person either because of some emotions matching, thoughts matching or even without any reason also along with the presence of some bodily attractions as well this love happens. And I use the term “happens” because love always happens and whatever is planned will not be love. 4^th stage of love is little more matured in the sense it is not totally based on body attraction alone and it is still immature in the sense that “I” or ego feeling is still there. Although the person can give even his/her life to the other (lovable) still there is a line of separation here.

Final stage:

Although some individuals could pass through the above stages more than one time (like keeping arrears and clearing ;)) and some may struck at one particular stage as well. Only few will reach this final stage. As this is a little advanced stage of love in which we can say that “love in its purest form”. The individual understands what real love means in this stage. If love happens because of some reasons like emotions matching, thoughts matching, and bodily attractions and so on, then that cannot be called a pure love. If it happens without any reason whatsoever then only we can say you have reached to this level. In this love, there will not be an “I” feeling. The individual understands the truth that there is no line of separation between him and the rest of the universe. He feels the bond (cord) mentally between him/her and the rest of the universe (although there is no physical bond obviously visible) hence feels at ease at home wherever he is and whatever he does. This love is pure in the sense that there is no “I” feeling. This love is matured in the sense that the individual still able to comprehend others and yet does not feel the separation. We may call this love in a different name in this stage that is “Compassion”. When Ramana Maharishi was asked by one of the visitors “Serving others could be the highest purpose of life, right?” For that Ramana Maharishi replied, “Where are the others?”