Self Confidence!

When we know exactly what we can do is self-confidence. If we know our limitations and capabilities exactly up to date then the self confidence is working fine. But what if we do not update our mindset on regular basis. We either wrongly assume that we can do a thing which we really cannot do which is over-confidence and we may assume that we cannot do a thing which we really can do which is called under-confidence. Let us see how to avoid both of these extremes.

 

SWOT analysis – If we assess our Strength, Weakness, Opportunity and Threat on regular basis then there is high possibility that we have our mindset up to date. As the days go we undergo growth, many changes happen both inside our mind and body. As per the changes the possibility for us to do a thing will also varies every now and then. For example, the same weight which you were not able to lift when you are a 10-year-old kid can be lifted easily by you when you are a 16-18-year-old guy. If we assume the capabilities from the remote past we tend to under estimate ourselves and if we assume the capabilities from the far future we tend to be over-confident.

 

The elephant being a big animal is easily controlled by man by following a simple technique. When the elephant is very young when its body is small and weak, he will be tied by a strong chain made of iron. The small elephant will try to break the chain and move away but he could not do so being small and weak. The story does not end here. The elephant starts believing that he could not break the iron chain at all after trying for so many times. At that time when the elephant is really small and weak if he believes that he could break the chain that is over-confidence. After many years, when the elephant becomes really gigantic and strong if he still believes that the iron chain which is too weak to hold the entire elephant leg could not be broken by a strong pull then it is under-confidence. The elephant believes strongly even after growing up gigantically that he could not break the chain and hence the technique works for training the wild elephant into a calm domestic animal. But when the same elephant becomes furious he would be breaking the chain within a second or so.

 

Similar to the elephant, we also assume that or believe that we can or cannot do a thing without even giving a try. When we are children our parents could have given a lot of advices and instructions. Those advices held good at that time. That is fine. As a kid we would be more vulnerable to dangers being small and weak hence those advices and instructions were really needed as a fence of protection till we grow. But even after becoming adult even after becoming big and strong both mentally and physically if we still believe that we cannot do one thing just without even trying for it then it is our under-confidence.

 

How to build the self confidence back? – Do a different thing regularly which you had never tried before on a regular basis. It need not be a big achievement or very difficult task like climbing Mount Everest. You can try trekking a nearby small hill if you have not done before. You can try writing a story if you have not done before. You can try making a cup of coffee by yourself if you have not done before. The main message here is the action should be new and different to you. After doing that you can appreciate yourself for that and automatically self confidence will increase as you master that action when you continue to do it many more times. Then you will start believing that you can do. That is how we build the Self-confidence back.